caskidmore [07 Mar : 16:46]

Hello, everyone, I apologize but I will not be able to host the chat this evening. Please feel free to post your comments or questions, and I will try to reschedule for later this week. Have a great day! Cathy

Joyce [03 Mar : 20:59]

A record of our chats is available to you through the website. Please let us know if there is a topic that you want to be addressed, or if you would like to share some of your experiences. Let us know how we can help ease the problems of caregiving or rejoice with you in your accomplishments. Hope you have a good night. Take care.

Joyce [03 Mar : 20:55]

What to do? There are some great resources. The Caregivers Digest has a video highlighting the experience of caregivers of persons with dementia. We will try to get that video on our website or give you a link. Also, there is a 24/hour Alzheimer hot line at 1-800-272-3900. This organization can provide alot of information and tips on managing difficult behaviors.

Joyce [03 Mar : 20:52]

All of these problems described above can confront the caregiver with many challenges. Caregiving becomes a 24 hour job, especially as the dementia gets worse. When compared with other caregivers, those caregivers of persons with dementia are more likely to experience physical and psychological problems related to the stress of their situation

Joyce [03 Mar : 20:47]

Dementia and the other conditions involve problems with cognition or cognitive ability. This means that the person is experiencing deterioration of memory, ability to solve problems, becomes easily confused or upset by too much going on at the same time, having difficulty following directions, decline in ability to respond to reasoning, sometimes difficulty in controlling emotion.

Joyce [03 Mar : 20:38]

The topic tonight can cover alot of situations, such as caregiving for persons with Alzheimer's Disease or dementia or cognitive problems caused by developmental disability or a traumatic brain injury or certain cancers that affect the brain and how it works. If you have a loved one with one of these problems, you may encounter many new words that are unfamiliar.

Joyce [03 Mar : 20:32]

Hello and good evening. How quickly the day goes! Hope you are well. If you have a chance, I recommend looking at the chat on February 23. There are some valuable tips. I thought that tonight we would consider the special problems of caregiving for persons with dementia and Alzheimer's disease

caskidmore [23 Feb : 21:02]

I apologize that the chat was slow tonight as some of my posts took quite awhile to appear - that is part of this internet age I think. I welcome you to post comments throughout the week, and maybe we can continue this discussion at a later date. In the meantime, please take care and I hope everyone has a great week!! Cathy

caskidmore [23 Feb : 20:59]

The third of the "top 3" tips is to ask for help. This can be very difficult and probably merits a whole chat discussion. But caregivers should try to not be afraid to ask for help.

caskidmore [23 Feb : 20:57]

Caregivers can allow their loved ones to be more independent by allowing them to mak their own choices whenever possible. Here it may be most important to make things easy for our loved one to be more independent. So for example, we might put out two breakfast choices and ask our loved one to decide what he or she wants, instead of making that decision for them or simply asking what they want.

caskidmore [23 Feb : 20:51]

The second tip is not to help too much! That is so hard to do, but we need to remember that we want the person we are caring for to remain as independent as possible. That of course depends on the situation. A loved one who is unable to get out of bed is less able to do things than a loved one we can take to the store.

caskidmore [23 Feb : 20:49]

The first tip is to take care of yourself. Evidence shows that caregivers who take care of themselves (1) stay healthier, (2) feel better about themselves, and (3) have more energy and enthusiasm and can keep giving care.

caskidmore [23 Feb : 20:48]

I think we are OK on the chat now. I have found many resources with a "Top 3" list of tips for caregivers.

caskidmore [23 Feb : 20:46]

Testing - my posts are not appearing for some reason, I apologize!

caskidmore [23 Feb : 20:45]

Sorry, everyone, my last post disappeared. I am hoping we can talk about some tips for caregivers as we return to normal as spring hopefully arrives soon.

caskidmore [23 Feb : 20:39]

But we are all hoping that spring is just around the corner, and that life can get back to normal. What is "normal" for a caregiver may be different than what is normal for others. "Normal" might not be so easy on any given day. So what are some things we can think about to help make our lives as caregivers a little bit easier?

caskidmore [23 Feb : 20:36]

That can be more challenging when we are dealing with record snowfalls, power outages, and a general inability to get anywhere we need to be. It is disheartening to hear news stories about folks who met with tragedy. Caregivers of course have their loved ones to worry about in these times of emergency in addition to themselves.

caskidmore [23 Feb : 20:32]

Being a caregiver can be difficult and as we often say, it is important to take care of ourselves too while focusing on taking care of someone else.

caskidmore [23 Feb : 20:31]

Good evening, caregivers. Hope you all are settling back to normal after all of the wintry weather we have been having here in western PA. I'm sure dealing with the weather added extra difficulties for many caregivers.

caskidmore [23 Feb : 20:00]

Chat starts at 8:30 tonight. We can talk about whatever you would like. Hope you will join me!

caskidmore [21 Feb : 15:56]

Hi, everyone, tonight's chat is moved to Tuesday, Feb. 23, 2010 at 8:30 p.m. Please feel free to post comments or questions in advance of the chat! Thank you, Cathy

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 20:10]

Well,we still have a few chapters in our book left. Let's plan on finishing this in a few weeks (I will post on the website). I am accepting suggestions for the next book. Some ideas: Rosalyn Carter has written a new book about caregivers, or I have heard good things about the book, Elder Rage. We can decide next month. Take care and stay safe. Spring is coming!

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 20:06]

Ironically, when the mother is ultimately transitioned back into her own apartment and is able to resume friendships and clubs, she flourishes. She still needs care but she is able to renew connections that are essential to all of us.

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 20:05]

I think the theme of this story is important. Both the caregiver and the care receipient need to have boundaries established. This personal time allows for escape and perspective. It also helps energize individual to come back to the relationship renewed. This is like any relationship right? Haven't we heard this for years about partners and spouses and even child rearing. It seems the same in caregiving. Even a 20 minute coffee break....with an old friend visiting the care receipient can offer respite.

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:58]

Next, I would like to talk about Carol (chapter 13). Carol is a caregiver for her mother. After her father's death, Carol's mother drifted from home to home (of children) and grew increasingly dependent on others. Not for care but rather she became quite emotionally dependent on others. She was unable to do things independently and was not spending time with her social circle.

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:56]

Diane's story really demonstrates what it can be like to come to the end of your emotional reserves. Paid caregivers would leave in tears from the verbal abuse and her husband would storm out. The aunt left little memory of the kind relationships that she had always fostered. But this is sometimes the reality of caregiving. If you have some thoughts on this experience, please feel free to post. This will be up for the rest of the week.

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:53]

Second, Diane's story also includes hospice. This was really a peace for both Diane, her husband and her husband's aunt. Her illness had come to this point. It is important to recognize that this is part of the dialogue.

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:51]

There are two other elements to Diane's story that I think are important (or rather they are important to me!). First, Diane's story does not have a tidy ending. It was long; it was a long care giving experience ~and I am sure the experience for her was uncomfortable and draining. This is pretty honest and true to life for most of us.

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:49]

Well, what are your resources? Call a friend. Reward yourself for each day that is completed~ treat it is as an achievement. How about spending a little time each week going through old pictures. These pictures might even include your care receipient. This might be something that you can share with them at a later time.

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:45]

SO how do we deal with this? How do we go into a situation everyday that we know is going to be hostile. We know that we are going to feel bad. We know that is going be unpredictiable.

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:44]

But pushing for that acknowledgment often comes at a price. The care receipient is not a position (often) to turn someone away. They don't always have control; this lack of autonomy can be so infuriating. That loss of independence can create emotions that make no sense; sometimes these emotions lash out and sometimes they are cruel.

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:41]

A very poignant moment....and a moment that many of us feel at different times in our lives...was when Diane says..."to be treated like that" alluding to all the sacrifice and time spent devoted to their care. We all do feel that. With jobs, kids, siblings, friends, in our closest relationships. We want to be acknowledged for the actions that we do for love.

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:39]

Let's start with Diane. Diane was caregiving with her husband for her husband's aunt and uncle. This was a longterm relationship. This relationship had been very loving for her husband whole life. Unfortunately illness was hard on the aunt. She grew increasingly bitter and often lashed out on her caregivers.

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:37]

I would like to talk about 3 stories tonight: Diane (chapter 11), Carol (Chapter 13) and Emily (Chapter 16)

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:33]

If you are logging in on this snowy night and you have not read the book~ no worries. This is anthology of stories, true stories, about caregiver experiences. Please feel free to contribute your own experience.

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:31]

Before we begin, a few announcements. PCSN will begin caregiver classes in the summer. We are inviting community members who are caregivers for two populations to these first round of classes. 1) Caregivers of persons with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease and 2) Caregivers of adults with intellectual disabilities. These classes will run several weeks, will be free of charge. Please contact us to reserve your spot (katharinefitzgerald@pittsburghcsn.org)

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:30]

Next week we will have one of our normally scheduled chats with attorney Cathy Skidmore.

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 19:29]

Hello! I feel like Pittsburgh has had 12 snow storms since the last chat. It is quite possible. Tonight is the second PCSN book group. These groups are a little different than our normal chats. We are reading books about caregiver experiences or are in some way related or helpful to the caregiving experience. If you have a book to suggest please do

fitzgerald [15 Feb : 18:38]

Chat tonight at 7:30. This is the second part of our series of chats on Carolyn Bradley Bursack's book, "Minding our elders, caregivers share their personal stories"